Q ue got me worried now, is a lie.
not just today, a few days ago I've been thinking about my reality and my future. No, at this point in my life, if so what has changed the reality around me, or I've changed enough, to this reality does not satisfy me. Until recently my only concern was understandable get a job. Which I was running out of money, inevitably.
For a little over a month I'm in a new job, grateful to those who made it possible for me to get this opportunity, but also experiencing feelings that I do not like.
In other occasions I have found different jobs at different levels of interest, but none so far I had been as inconsequential as this.
When asked "how are you in your new job" answer "the is feeling bored, do not think there is another word that best represents what I feel. "
And here I was a dilemma, showing that even I belong to the human race, between the ideal and my current needs.
Every time I mention this, all without partiality, I respond that "naturally", that "there is nothing to be worried," "do not do more than protest everything ".... and comments of that caliber.
So what happens, maybe everyone sees as natural to be unhappy with their work is part of the job?
And the face of it nobody does anything that is natural?
So natural that nobody even says?
So natural that no one "do" anything?
And if some do, I say: "and you'll get used" "And leave something better" ... as if everything were due to chance, ensuring that our needs and desires are not enough to change our own reality.
I have two colleagues with whom I share tasks but we do this in shifts. Anyway, I had a chance to talk with them separately. Sometimes I see them perform these tasks we have in common. One is older than me for a few years, the other has a few years younger. Both almost two years who are performing these tasks. And looking at them, fear the idea of me and within ... A year? curved, look older than they have, always sleepy, sleeping in a chair leaning against a corner of the kitchen (to be outside the scope of the surveillance camera).
When I travel to my workplace on the train. When I walk a couple of deserted streets in San Isidro (a walk to delay my arrival) before going to cover my guard, I think the world is not defined in the path that goes from home to work. I think there's a world full of wonders to explore. Hundreds of natural scenes to go. Thousands of places and events to meet.
Then despair of powerlessness, a storm of mixed emotions erupt inside me to think, what with so many world go, laid waste my time staying in front of a monitor, taking the phone and worrying about issues of no importance in my life. (This last sentence is very long, but necessary).
always to start the day, as soon as I put my feet on the ground, I get worried. But I always Espabila sunlight, or silent and powerful presence of the moon. It is then, when I have some mates, a post with my gear and I get on the road waiting "The next adventure?, Hoping that lady luck wink me again (but harder).
While I'm planning to escape ... continue walking through the streets, protesting, angry, but hopeful that at some point to re-route, re-travel the roads of discovery and innovation.
That if, when I cross the street, I can not laugh in the face.
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